The Official Bad Advice Thread

[Philip]

Man, I'm glad this thread got resurrected.

Secret method for making boots of speed:

Place boots on floor.
Place Ring of Speed on floor next to them.
Zap both with a wand of lightning balls, and say the magic words...

Magic words ... Darndarnf***s***

[Tatami]

Level 38 gnome rogue?, fire resist? Lernean hydra? Consider the xp already yours. He rarely ever breaths, if at all.

[Pete Mack]

Level 38 gnome rogue?, fire resist? Lernean hydra? Consider the xp already yours. He rarely ever breaths, if at all.

Extra points for irony and/or subtlety...

[Nick]

If a nearly-dead Beholder has just cursed you for more than half your hitpoints, there's practically no chance it will curse again, and if it does, you're almost certain to pass the saving throw. Just keep slowly shooting it to death.

If you've just learnt a new ball spell, the best way to test it out is on a group of sleeping Phase Spiders; if you don't have poison resistance, that just makes it a proper test.

[buzzkill]

An eye druj, what's an eye druj? It's just sitting there, staring at you. It's probably harmless. You better go take a closer look.

[Magnate]

If a nearly-dead Beholder has just cursed you for more than half your hitpoints, there's practically no chance it will curse again, and if it does, you're almost certain to pass the saving throw. Just keep slowly shooting it to death.

If you've just learnt a new ball spell, the best way to test it out is on a group of sleeping Phase Spiders; if you don't have poison resistance, that just makes it a proper test.

Speaking of newly-learned spells, if you get the message that says "You don't have enough mana to cast this spell. Try anyway [y/n]?", always say yes, because you always succeed the first time that happens.

[Tenka]

Only Gandalf himself believed that he had max CHA, Which makes me wonder if he's really deserving of the max INT that is so often attributed to him. Max EGO, certainly.

A Gandalf should rely on blind luck and pre-ordained destiny for victory. He could just wander about, charming hapless hobbits, setting dire events into motion, then retreating to his summer home until he feels the need to interfere in the lives of elves and men once again.

Yeah....but that's kind of hard to play in 'Band.


Play as Frodo, start a Halfling tourist and equip Un ID'd rings....If you need to fight use scrolls of 'Summon kin'.

To play Rocky Balboa, start an unarmed, unarmoured fighter and allow each enemy to beat you down to 25% hp before you fight back. Allow all your money to be stolen by thieves and whatever is left should be spent on amulets of adornment.

[ekolis]

Heh, this could be a new thread in and of itself... instead of "ironman" challenges, you could come up with new ones!

Like the "Mario" - you have to eat every mushroom you find at the first opportunity... bonus points if you start as a hobbit and get polymorphed into a half-troll, and double bonus points if you do so by eating a Red Spotted Mushroom

Or the "Bishop" - you have to move only diagonally... (the "Pope" challenge would involve only RUNNING diagonally, without taking single steps, I suppose?)

Or maybe the "Link" - don't use any weapons but swords, bows, and boomerangs, and use no magic except for "Direct Wind"... oh, wait, that spell is only in POWDER :P

Or the "Jesus"... you're not allowed to kill anything in the dungeon, except for fig trees, and you get points for wearing rings of feather falling and casting "Create Food"...

And game modes too...

"Super Saiyan" mode: your attacks do 100x more damage, but you can't fight anybody without aggravating all monsters on the level with an ear-splitting scream and then waiting 20 turns?

Or a "Megaman" mode, where before you fight Morgoth, on level 99 there are 8 vaults, each containing only one unique (ones you've killed already, no less) and no items; each vault has a different theme, too, depending on the elemental resistances of the enemy it contains!

"Metroid" mode - Morgoth is not necessarily at level 100; he might be at level minus 65, or maybe at level pi, or even at a level with an imaginary number; it's up to you to find out where he is, but once you find him, he's a pushover... but wait, that wasn't the REAL Morgoth! So you fight the REAL Morgoth and after a few turns you're down to one star of health, but then out of the blue a giant silver jelly wanders by and drains all of Morgoth's mana and uses it to replenish your health! So you beat the snot out of Morgoth, but WAIT AGAIN! *** EMERGENCY GLYPH ACTIVATED! DUNGEON SELF DESTRUCT IN 3:00 *** :P

[Estie]

When you have gathered good equipment and feel ready for the final fight, dont take the downstairs immediately; instead, relish in your power and play around with the mere normal monsters in the dungeon for a while. With you able to handle the likes of Morgoth, nothing on level 98 can harm you and who knows you might still find some better items.


(dont know if this is new, but its excellent bad advice)

[Joona]

When facing one of those annoying monsters that burn all your stuff away, like Vargo for example, drop all your staves, scrolls and books to the ground and back away around a corner to prepare for the fight.

( My poor poor word of recalls, teleports and lots of other stuff All I could do was watch them dissappear as Vargo crushed them under his feet... )

[Mondkalb]

When facing one of those annoying monsters that burn all your stuff away, like Vargo for example, drop all your staves, scrolls and books to the ground and back away around a corner to prepare for the fight.

( My poor poor word of recalls, teleports and lots of other stuff All I could do was watch them dissappear as Vargo crushed them under his feet... )

Well, I must admit I did something similiar stupid once. I had digged a tunnel and dropped some staves around the corner to prevent them to be drained by one of the unique Balrogs. I didn't account for the breath attack to destroy the staves around the corner though. ^^

[fizzix]

The lantern is the most important item at the beginning of the game. If the general store doesn't have one in stock, you should restart until it does.

The dungeon is hard, it's probably a good idea to kill some townspeople to gain some experience levels first.

You can tell a lot about a monster by its color. For example, pink monsters are usually pushovers.

[Zikke]

I don't think the general store has lanterns any more; you may need to scum in the Black Market for a while.

[fizzix]

I don't think the general store has lanterns any more; you may need to scum in the Black Market for a while.

that was kind of the point.

[Zikke]

Touche then.


I just forgot which thread this was. Curse you, fatigue!