A DitL of a confident, inexperienced *bander

[Aristobulus]

Matthias the Fifth, Classical Dunadan Alchemist.

-Day First-

First order of business- GLOVES! I put on me gloves, and brew a Potion of Detonation. Afterwards, I piddle over to the Weaponsmith and purchase a sling with a handful of iron shots. You might be thinking, dear reader, 'What in the world is this guy doing?'. I'll tell you- I plan to hunt for the dreaded 4-headed Hydra! With this potion I'll blow off 'is other 3 heads, and then plop off the 4th with a pebble! Or so I hope. I mean, it looks good on paper... Here goes.

A short time later...

So far many a 3-headed have been seen- but they won't do- only that Quadra will do.

Note to self: Pack more socks next time, this swamp is murder to me feets. Or better yet, bring along a pair of Waders of Resist Mud.

Another short time later...

Ah! Finally, there she is- the Fourdra! Potion in one hand, cross in the other, and a sling in me teeth- CHARGE!

KERBOOOOM! Hahaaa, why ya runnin', scared?! I ready my sling, and start launching a barrage of little pebbles at the coward- and I come to find that every last one is missing 'im! And then I find that that Hydra ain't scared no more! And then I find that Hydra in my face! And then-

[the rest of the page is ripped, charred, and covered in blood]

Maybe next time I'll disregard my greed and hit the 3-headed. Maybe. :]

[Atarlost]

You'll have more fun not playing an alchemist. Alchemists are a lot of grind.

[Nick]

Alchemists are a lot of grind.

Not that one

[Narvius]

Alchemists are simply more than overpowered. Infinite cash (once you make it beyond the first few AU), instant, free level 17-20... and the custom artifacts. Ouch.
I recommend Vanilla.

[Psi]

Thanks for that - it was short and entertaining!

As others have said, alchemists are a very unbalanced class. If you want to learn how to play the game then try something a little more classical - both in terms of class and variant

[Narvius]

But, uhm, if you really want to slay a "Fourdra", I'd say you need some wands instead of pebbles.

[Aristobulus]

But, uhm, if you really want to slay a "Fourdra", I'd say you need some wands instead of pebbles.

It was short bit of fun. I'm actually playing vanilla at the moment.

[Atarlost]

The custom artifacts are the worst part. Alchemists don't have the skills to stand on their own without customizing artifacts, but customising artifacts is the worst grind I've ever seen in a single player game. There's some stuff you can exploit making ego items that's less grindy, but that's an exploit. The only reason it hasn't been fixed is that Alchemy as it now exists is on the way out anyhow.