A Mary Sue walks into a black market...
The first thing she does, of course, is use her trust fund money to buy a heavily enchanted crossbow and some bolts. Then she heads right on out into the wilderness, and hunts Zephyr hounds until she's level 20-something. Then she goes to Camelot, and proceeds to lay utter waste to everything in her path...
Until she runs into this guy dressed all in red, leaning against the granite wall of some kind of vault and whistling tunelessly.
"Hi there," he says with a grin, "I'm Jurt the Living Trump! Here, have some Logrus!"
He snaps his fingers, and wave of electric technicolor randomness buffets Mary Sue around.
"Ouch. I don't think I like Logrus very much. Say, did I always have antennae?"
"No, but you'll get used to them. Here, have some more Logrus!" *snap*
"bluaaggghh. Urk. Sorry, I think I'm allergic to it."
"I think more Logrus will fix that." *snap*
"I'd shoot you, but my crossbow just turned into this grinning cat and bit my name off."
"Hair of the cat that bit you, then." *snap*
"Oh... the pretty colors burn..."
*snap* *snap* *snap*
The elf keels over and dissolves into colored sparks. Jurt claps his hands together and resumes his whistling.
A few hours later, a bloke in heavy black armor comes crashing into the vault.
"Hey," says the black knight, "Have you seen an elf around? About six foot six, carrying a huge crossbow, shooting everything she sees?"
"Yeah, she came this way. Want some Logrus?"
"Umm. What's Logrus?"
Jurt grins. "Why don't you find out?"
*snap*
The first thing she does, of course, is use her trust fund money to buy a heavily enchanted crossbow and some bolts. Then she heads right on out into the wilderness, and hunts Zephyr hounds until she's level 20-something. Then she goes to Camelot, and proceeds to lay utter waste to everything in her path...
Until she runs into this guy dressed all in red, leaning against the granite wall of some kind of vault and whistling tunelessly.
"Hi there," he says with a grin, "I'm Jurt the Living Trump! Here, have some Logrus!"
He snaps his fingers, and wave of electric technicolor randomness buffets Mary Sue around.
"Ouch. I don't think I like Logrus very much. Say, did I always have antennae?"
"No, but you'll get used to them. Here, have some more Logrus!" *snap*
"bluaaggghh. Urk. Sorry, I think I'm allergic to it."
"I think more Logrus will fix that." *snap*
"I'd shoot you, but my crossbow just turned into this grinning cat and bit my name off."
"Hair of the cat that bit you, then." *snap*
"Oh... the pretty colors burn..."
*snap* *snap* *snap*
The elf keels over and dissolves into colored sparks. Jurt claps his hands together and resumes his whistling.
A few hours later, a bloke in heavy black armor comes crashing into the vault.
"Hey," says the black knight, "Have you seen an elf around? About six foot six, carrying a huge crossbow, shooting everything she sees?"
"Yeah, she came this way. Want some Logrus?"
"Umm. What's Logrus?"
Jurt grins. "Why don't you find out?"
*snap*
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